Bliss of Reentry: Part III

 “Concentrate, Aeryn,” Tobias said.  “Ignore the static surrounding him. Just focus on the center of his aura.” 

“Baby, I can’t- I can’t get to it,” Aeryn replied, aggravated. She squeezed her eyes tighter and attempted to re-center her focus.  She could sense Hadrian’s aura right above her, she could feel its turmoil, she could feel the pain he was in, but this was all from outside of the walls of his psyche. He wouldn’t let her in.   The loud crash of something toppling over upstairs broke her focus yet again.  

“Shit,” Tobias said under his breath.

Aeryn’s hand flew to her face in frustration.  “This isn’t working, Tobias! He’s up there killing himself!”

“He’s had episodes like this before, and you’ve been able to help him. You can do it again,” Tobias said, folding his arms.

 ”They’ve never been this bad,” Aeryn replied. ”I’ve never sensed so much turmoil surrounding his psyche. It’s practically cannibalizing itself. I need to go help him.” 

“No.  We’re already too close to him. You have to keep trying to stabilize him from here.” 

“I can’t! He won’t let me in! He’s too strong, Tobias!” Aeryn could feel herself getting closer and closer to crying, but that would be a senseless gesture at this point. She had to keep it together. 

 “Aeryn, You’re strong too –”

  

“I don’t have the abilities to do what has to be done. There is only one thing that I can do right now to help him.” 

“No,” Tobias said, stone-faced. “Absolutely not.  There’s no one here strong enough to pull him out if he gets to deep. You know I can’t do it. ” 

“He can pull himself out if he gets to deep,” she responded.

“In his state, Aeryn?! He barely knows where he is! He’s barely conscious!” 

“If he’s conscious enough to be able to maintain a mental barrier strong enough to keep me out of his aura, then he’s conscious enough to control himself for long enough to take energy from me.” 

“You mean without killing you? No. We can’t risk that, we need to wait for –” 

Another loud crash from upstairs shook the room, and made up Aeryn’s mind.  

“Don’t fight me on this. Just stay down here, Toby,” she said getting up and moving swiftly toward the stairs.  

“What?! I’m not letting you –” 

“Tobias! My mind is made up.  It’s done,” Aeryn said sharply. “Now you are about 10 times more vulnerable than I am, so stay downstairs!”  

“Babe, this is so dangerous!” Tobias called after her, but Aeryn was already halfway upstairs.  His stomach twisted in premonition with each step she took.

Aeryn made her way cautiously up the stairs, slowing at the walkway to the guest bedroom. Peeking around the corner she saw her brother in a frightening state. The room was a mess, and Hadrian stooped, wheezing, in the center. Closer to him now, Aeryn became more aware of havoc his own aura was wreaking on him. She could feel slithers of energy escaping his psyche, even though he was clearly struggling to hold onto them.  

“Hadrian?” she said meekly. “Hadrian, you have to let me help you.” She didn’t recognize the growl of a voice that emanated from the broken figure on the ground. “Aeryn, get away from me.”

“Hadrian, if you’d open your aura to me I can – ” 

“That’s too… dangerous,” he said as he exerted significant effort to stand up. “You’re too close… to me… get away.” Hadrian’s breathing was ragged and the pain he was feeling was very apparent. Aeryn wondered how he had managed to remain conscious this whole time.

Aeryn jumped as Hadrian let out a sudden roar, a tremor ripping through his body.  Aeryn realized not only was his aura lashing out at itself, it was also losing energy at an unnatural speed.  All auras had natural, inborn protective fences that held energy in and usually kept excess energy out. Hadrian’s fence was being ripped apart, and what energy he had left, he was using to block her aura specifically. Unfortunately, all auras had the tendency to pick up stray energy if it was available, and with Hadrian’s defenses down, his psyche was like a buffet.  Nearby auras, even her own, could be taking advantage of the porous state of Hadrian’s psyche and pulling energy from it. If his aura wasn’t stabilized enough to be able to defend itself, Hadrian’s state would only get worse.  

“DON’T TOUCH ME, AERYN!” Hadrian bellowed as Aeryn began taking small steps toward him.  She immediately backed up a few paces and put her arms behind her back, as if to reassure him that she would not touch him.  But as another tremor struck him, she couldn’t stay where she was.

She moved toward him slowly, careful not to touch him. “Look at me Hadrian,” she said, attempting to see his face. “I’m going to help you, but you have to let me.” His eyes were cloudy and glazed over. He didn’t appear to be able to focus on anything.  “Hadrian, can you see me?” she asked.

“Please, get away from me,” Hadrian moaned, but the moan seemed to get caught in his throat, and suddenly he began gripping his neck. “Can’t… breathe.”

“Hadrian! Let go of your neck. You can breathe.  Look at me!” Aeryn grabbed his fingers from his neck and tried to tug him into looking at her. She watched in alarm as his expression changed from pain, to confusion, to rage.

 

“I SAID, DON’T TOUCH ME!” Hadrian yelled, pushing Aeryn away from him violently.  

“Okay! Okay, Hadrian. I’m not touching you!” Aeryn said, backing away from him. “I’m sorry, I just…let me help you! This is killing you…” She could feel the tears that she had pushed back before start making their way back up to her eyes. “Open up to me! I can share this!”

Hadrian’s eyes seemed to clear for a moment, and a passive look came over his face.  “What if something happens? What if I… hurt you?” 

“You won’t. Just take what you need from me. “ 

“I… can’t control…,” Hadrian said as his eyes began to well.  He groaned as a streak of pain shot through his body and he fell into his sister’s arms.  

“Yes, you can. You’re so strong. You can do this. Let go, Hadrian.” Aeryn said, hugging him tightly. “Let go, now.”

She gasped as she sensed his mental block against her crumble and the almost simultaneous drain of psychic energy from the center of her psyche.