After the Calling

Soooooooo, I’m having my house “greened” because I’m a hippie (not the stinky kind, the tree hugging kind), and also because I needed a reason to renovate my attic, which was never actually an attic until I moved into the house and tossed all the crap I didn’t feel like finding a place for into the rooms on the third floor. I had taken the week off of work, not quite realizing that this venture would actually require a full taking over of my residence, and I’ve been trying very hard just to live with a bunch of construction men (and one very strong looking woman) walking in and out of my house, staving off wild attacks from my xenophobic cats. However, it has now come to the point where this is just impossible, so the cats, the dogs, the snakes, and I will be heading over to the boyfriend’s place, which, being that he has been squatting with me, is not cat-ready, dog-ready, snake-ready, or Veron-ready. It is also not internet ready, because, there is no need to pay a cable bill when no one is living in the place to watch it.  I’ve been denying for a whole year that the boy and I don’t technically live together because he has his own place. You know, he just stays over for… months at a time… yeah, well, that little fantasy has been squashed.

All that said, I won’t be around until sometime next week (possibly during the weekend) and then immediately after that, my job is sending me on a torturously long field trip, so September won’t be a great month for AtC. I’m going to try and get something out next week before I go, but can’t promise much. I’d like to say that I’ve been productive during my week off, but I’ve really done nothing. Just been lying around, binging on Sharon Shinn novels, because I’d give up oxygen to be able to write like her. And I talk about flawed characters, geezus. I’ve become addicted to the agony and hair-tearing frustration that this woman illicits in me with her stories. Whether suspense, or science fiction, or paranormal fantasy, or all three, this woman has me agonizing. And the romance, holy… I mean you’ll have this petulant, pigheaded, jerk of a woman, and then this control freak, hot-headed, jerk of a man and they piss you off SO BAD, but you can’t help but love each of them for what they are and who they are and how perfect they are for the story, and then the man will get over his own jerkiness for his love of the woman, because despite her being a complete ASS – oh, and she is a complete ASS - he loves her, and will always love her because she is his ass, and even when he shows her this truth again and again she continues to resist JUST FOR THE SAKE OF RESISTING, and you just want to smack her - you just – you just hate her because you’ve been reading all day and you’re STARVING, but you can’t stop reading now, becuase this ASS and her actions have now sexually frustrated YOU! And you’re the flipping READER! How must the male protagonist feel?!  But he’s not acting on it, no, he’s just letting her continue to be a douche. Because. he. effing loves her.

All you want is for these two gotdam protagonists to consumate the relationship and, knowing you are in the final pages of the book, you find yourself begging, PLEADING! with this woman: Please. Please! PUH-LEASE! Just sleep with him, please! He loves you! And you love him even though you refuse to admit it you petulant, pigheaded, ASS! I’ve gotten through this whole book with you, and all you’ve done is torture me! I hate you for making me feel like this, I want to cut out my own spleen with a butter knife! But I love you for doing this to me, I’m going to recommend this book to everyone! And he loves you too! Soo please (*sobs*) please, please have sex with him. Please. Just… (*weeping*)… just give him your sex! (*sobs harder, but then is suddenly angry*) JUST GIVE IT UP, YOU PRAT, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, THIS ISN’T EVEN A ROMANCE NOVEL!

And then she does. And despite all the shit, their love is overwhelming and they can deal with all the rest of the shit that is about to come their way. And then suddenly everything is once again right with the world because you just read the best fucking book ever and you need a cigarette even though you’ve never smoked a day in your life and something tells you that you should probably skip the nicotine and just settle for some guacamole.

… … … … … yeah, so… I’ll be around!