After the Calling

THIS is why I love looking at the search engine terms that bring people to this site. They don’t make a lick of damn sense. Don’t have much, if anything, to do with AtC.  But my link shows up and gets clicked anyway.  And I love it.

immovable elbow
wrench dog
psychic protection for telepaths
aeryn nekkid
grounded for sneaking out
roman numerals don’t make sense
dildos
“kurt cobain” hairstyle

AND, THE GRAND MASTER OF AMAZING

webbed cocooned erotic spider stories fantasy

WEBBED! COCOONED! EROTIC! SPIDER! STORIES!

SERIOUSLY???!?! REALLY??!?! And thank you.

That is my genre. Forget science fiction urban fantasy whatever the hell. I write in the genre of webbed cocooned erotic spiders. You can bet your dime on that. In fact, I’m about to google that shit right now.

EDIT! And as of this post, I am the first thing that shows up with you google “webbed cocooned erotic spiders”.  And my purpose has been fulfilled. I don’t need to accomplish anything else today.

Edit again: Okay… there are actually people with a spider fetish, and there actually exists webbed cocooned erotic spider stories, and everything in me wants to click on some of these links, but I’m afraid of viruses. But there is something called “Sticky bondage” and someone named Gabriel who “is really beautifull [sic], and exciting when she is cocooned.”

And I’m right at the top of that list. Excellent.

Soooooooooooooo, I’m running out of sims. Like, I’m literally out of sims (who don’t look like horses) to use for my characters and my extras. So I’ve had to dip back into the stock and pick out a sim for a new character who may or may not be the sim son of a very main character (a main character who may or may not have something obscene like 15 kids with 12 different women in my game) and may or may not look just like him, a fact that may or may not completely confuse the storyline if you think of him in that light. But the sim is not the character. … Well, the sim IS the character, but his simly resemblance to other character(s) should be completely ignored. Sense? Bah. Humbug.

I’ve been staring at this damn thing for days now. Days and days. I can recite it from memory. I’m posting version 5.0, because I had serious psychological issues with versions 1.0 – 4.0. I attempted Arden’s POV, and just couldn’t stick with it. It’s hard to be in the head of an evil ass psychopath. I even tried writing objectively. Fail. So there is a bit of a jump from the TYP Part IV into this one, like you loose that bit of time between Arden being with Mickey and Arden going off and being a dickhole. Not to mention the POV of a throw away character. I’m still Twitchy McGee over certain aspects of this one. Some pictures in particular are making me anxious, but I can no longer indulge that because I have something of a self-administered deadline for Ten Years Prior, and worrying over this is just wasting time. There are also some sappy cheesy bits where I toe the lie between cavity-inducing sweetness and terrible story progression.

This update has me feeling all kinds of resentful of this Ten Years Prior experiment and, it might be ending a little sooner than originally intended. Poo.

ACK! Sorry I disappeared. I had an issue at work that I was trying to sidestep and it ended up blowing up in my face and exploding my head. I’m a little swamped so I might be a bit shifty. In fact… I’m still at work now… at 9:00. I want to strangle something. Hehe, I guess it isn’t helping that I’m updating my site instead of finishing what I’m supposed to be doing .

But hey! I did Mickey’s POV! … but it sucked so bad I’m pretty much sure I’ll never do it again. I think because when I write it, I’m fine, but once I have to sim it… like make sims act that crap out, that’s when I start feeling like a bowl of ass… And then it screws with my writing because I end up taking out stuff and patching things together because I don’t feel comfortable taking the balls-assy pictures. Eh. Maybe I’m just a pansy. Probably.

LOOK WHAT I FOUND LOOK WHAT I FOUND LOOK WHAT I FOUND LOOK WHAT I FOUND.

A before and after shot of a regular aura being jacked up by a vampiric aura.

A vampiric aura gaining energy while it is jacking up a regular aura.

The bachelors in neuroscience that I paid 100,000 dollars for is screaming at me from the box labled “college” in my attic to check my sources. Find out what kind of machinery was used to get these pictures.  Back up my information… yeah I don’t want to… UGH BUT I HAVE TO. Hold on please.

…

Okay so the pictures come from here http://www.llewellyn.com/bookstore/article.php?id=1590, which is a whole article based on psychic vampirism and how you can protect yourself from it. Very technical. Uses a lot of big words. My kind of article.  The scientist in me is calling bullshit on every single word, but the writer in me IS IN FUCKING LOVE.  The article cites a study funded by the Parapsychology Foundation http://www.parapsychology.org/(non-for-profit foundation based in impartial study of supernatural phenomena. Including ghosts, reincarnations, out of body experiences.) that speaks of people drawing energy from each other… which I didn’t care about. What I cared about was THERE IS A GIANT ORGANIZATION DEDICATED TO THIS. WILL THEY FALL? WILL A MURDEROUS LEADER RISE ABOVE AND START KILLING ITS MEMBERS? I WANT TO KNOW.  HAVE A COGNITIVE EMAIL ME AND TELL ME. Please.

The author also claimed that the pictures that I posted above were taken using “aura photography”.  Now in my 5 minute research of aura photography, all I found where people with colorful, bubbling clouds photoshoped around their heads. 

 Example from http://magazine.brighton.co.uk/Section/Mind_and_Body/41. Actually the most believable picture that I could find.  But…meh. 

And in every site that claimed to offer aura photography, none of them would tell me how their equipment worked. There was even one site with a section entitled “HOW DOES AURA PHOTOGRAPHY WORK?” and all they said, basically, was everyone’s aura is different and our cameras are complicated, but we promise you a colorful bubbly photo for the price listed. Hmph.

I did locate something called Kirlian photography, which, in the 40’s was said to show the physical manifestation of a life force… or an aura. It’s essentially a picture of things being electrocuted on film paper. If they are moist, then the more aura-y the picture, since water conducts electricity. Of course the creator of this method got away with it for a while because what are living things if not moist? We’re made of liquid. We’re frickin’  60% water.

This following is an image of two coins being… well electrocuted on film paper.  They are probably a little bit wet. Pic is from wikipedia (I know, I know the info I got was from skeptics dictionary, and the back cover of  The Unseen Self, Revised: Kirlian Photography Explained by Brian Snellgrove, found in google images).

Look familiar? Yah.

This debunks that whole, life force picture thing because coins are inanimate objects. Can’t have auras. Since an aura would require one to have… life. Since the definition of aura is… life energy. That is not from my definition. My definition is convoluted and AtC neccessary. Story terms. This is the internet’s definition. The internet also says an aura is a sensation (as of a cold breeze or bright light) that precedes the onset of certain disorders such as a migraine attack or epileptic seizure. It’s also a Muslim Jat tribe, found mainly in Gujar Khan Tehsil of Rawalpindi District. It’s also a concept album by Miles Davis. Oh just found the aura of a wrench.

I started this post thrilled and ended it jaded and curmudgeonly. I HATE THE SCIENTIFIC METHOD. Ruins all the fun. RUINS IT.

Hi! Quick chat. I’m not NOT answering emails on purpose. I swear if you’ve contacted me, you will get a response eventually. I SWEAR. I’m just a little bit fuzzed at the moment. I’m preparing for another business trip and my grandfather MAILED me a dog. From Canada. A Maltese. When I already own a bunch of Great Danes. I say, “Grands you drum to the beat of your own tune.” He says “No, I drum to the beat of a Celine Dion album.” AND IF THAT in itself isn’t the best explanation as to why this fool would mail me a dog, then nothing is. I’m a bit preoccupied with finding the pup a more reasonable, responsible, Great Dane-less, home without having to declare civil war on my boyfriend who melts at the sight of anything that wags its tail. The pansy.

It’s been a strange week. I’m feeling strange.